Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Eating Habits of the Elderly

Dad eats very well, don't let him fool you when he says he eats like a baby - if the meal is something that he likes and he can eat without any difficulty (remember he has no teeth), he will eat a full adult portion.

Unfortunately, my father is very confused and a poor historian.  He loves to tell these elaborate stories of the great meals he would prepare at home.  The problem is that he has not cooked like that since he was 70 years old.  For the last twenty years, the extent of his cooking was to open a can of condensed soup. 

Dad, like many elderly, would eat one good meal per day. He never ate breakfast because he would eat a huge lunch, at the local senior center at 11am.  The lunch consisted of meat, potatoes, a beverage, and a piece of cake all for one dollar!    For dinner he would have a slice of bread and some salami or can soup or a frankfurter. 

My dad was seriously underweight and malnourished when I brought him out to Colorado.  But his mind will not permit him to see that the quality of his life was in serious jeopardy.  So he goes back to a happier time, way back, like when he was 60 years old.  I can't fight with dementia.  Not even worth trying.  No one wins, really.

Dad needs to control his environment - he was independent until he was 89 years old!  That is pretty amazing, but he does not see it that way.  He thinks he has had a rotten life - ok well it is all relative, isn't it.

So I am not surprised that dad is doing all of this complaining because he is trying to control something, anything, and the focus has been on food.  Ok, I get it, except he is driving me and the family crazy.  One minute he tells me to make him macaroni and cheese, and the next minute he will tell me that he doesn't like macaroni and cheese! 

A few weeks ago I took him to the grocery store and said, "dad, go ahead and take a shopping cart and go around the store with Joey, buy whatever you want."  I was shopping with Jessica and met up with them about 30 minutes later.  I had a huge cart full of groceries and my father had:  10 cans of Progresso soup, a bag of onion rolls, and a chub of Hebrew National salami. 

He told me to make him a can of soup for lunch and that is all he wants from that day forward.  After three days of giving him soup, he turns to me on the forth day and says, "what, you don't have enough money to feed me something other than soup?"

I can always tell when dad is about to start one of his food monologues.  I will be sitting in my favorite chair by the window and he will very quietly walk towards me with a pensive look upon his face.  He will open the same way, "Linda, may I talk to you for a minute?" or "Linda, you are a good daughter and I don't want to be a burden.." and this is my favorite, "What kind of food are you feeding me!  I never had this at home." (Referring to stomach pains and constipation).

 I can't do his hand gestures or accent any justice, suffice it to say, when my dad starts one of his long speeches they are hysterically funny.

 Here is a sample of one of dad's solioquy's:

Dad: Linda, listen I don't want to aggravate you, or upset you, I am a man of 90 years and I didn't ask you to bring me out here. Ok I am here, but I know you will have a problem with me with eating because I can't chew the food, but I have an idea that will be good for both of us. And it won't cost you a penny. How about you let me make potato soup, how much could it cost for one potato, a nickel? I need a small onion, maybe a half of the onion and I will fry it in a pan with a little oil and the potato, then I will add water and in twenty minutes I will have a delicious soup.  I can make this for your whole family and they will love it.  It is very healthy and good for the bowels.  Ok, Linda, I don't want to hold you too long, have a good night.

Good night dad.