Dad eats very well, don't let him fool you when he says he eats like a baby - if the meal is something that he likes and he can eat without any difficulty (remember he has no teeth), he will eat a full adult portion.
Unfortunately, my father is very confused and a poor historian. He loves to tell these elaborate stories of the great meals he would prepare at home. The problem is that he has not cooked like that since he was 70 years old. For the last twenty years, the extent of his cooking was to open a can of condensed soup.
Dad, like many elderly, would eat one good meal per day. He never ate breakfast because he would eat a huge lunch, at the local senior center at 11am. The lunch consisted of meat, potatoes, a beverage, and a piece of cake all for one dollar! For dinner he would have a slice of bread and some salami or can soup or a frankfurter.
My dad was seriously underweight and malnourished when I brought him out to Colorado. But his mind will not permit him to see that the quality of his life was in serious jeopardy. So he goes back to a happier time, way back, like when he was 60 years old. I can't fight with dementia. Not even worth trying. No one wins, really.
Dad needs to control his environment - he was independent until he was 89 years old! That is pretty amazing, but he does not see it that way. He thinks he has had a rotten life - ok well it is all relative, isn't it.
So I am not surprised that dad is doing all of this complaining because he is trying to control something, anything, and the focus has been on food. Ok, I get it, except he is driving me and the family crazy. One minute he tells me to make him macaroni and cheese, and the next minute he will tell me that he doesn't like macaroni and cheese!
A few weeks ago I took him to the grocery store and said, "dad, go ahead and take a shopping cart and go around the store with Joey, buy whatever you want." I was shopping with Jessica and met up with them about 30 minutes later. I had a huge cart full of groceries and my father had: 10 cans of Progresso soup, a bag of onion rolls, and a chub of Hebrew National salami.
He told me to make him a can of soup for lunch and that is all he wants from that day forward. After three days of giving him soup, he turns to me on the forth day and says, "what, you don't have enough money to feed me something other than soup?"
I can always tell when dad is about to start one of his food monologues. I will be sitting in my favorite chair by the window and he will very quietly walk towards me with a pensive look upon his face. He will open the same way, "Linda, may I talk to you for a minute?" or "Linda, you are a good daughter and I don't want to be a burden.." and this is my favorite, "What kind of food are you feeding me! I never had this at home." (Referring to stomach pains and constipation).
I can't do his hand gestures or accent any justice, suffice it to say, when my dad starts one of his long speeches they are hysterically funny.
Here is a sample of one of dad's solioquy's:
Dad: Linda, listen I don't want to aggravate you, or upset you, I am a man of 90 years and I didn't ask you to bring me out here. Ok I am here, but I know you will have a problem with me with eating because I can't chew the food, but I have an idea that will be good for both of us. And it won't cost you a penny. How about you let me make potato soup, how much could it cost for one potato, a nickel? I need a small onion, maybe a half of the onion and I will fry it in a pan with a little oil and the potato, then I will add water and in twenty minutes I will have a delicious soup. I can make this for your whole family and they will love it. It is very healthy and good for the bowels. Ok, Linda, I don't want to hold you too long, have a good night.
Good night dad.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Influenza (flu) Vaccination - The Elderly are at Risk!
It is flu season and those at greatest risk of developing serious complications from this preventable disease is the elderly. Read on and become better informed consumers of health care.
Influenza Facts
Influenza, commonly known as the flu, is a contagious viral infection spread predominately through coughing and sneezing. Common symptoms include high fever, chills, headache, muscle aches, sore throat, cough, and generalized fatigue.
Although it peaks in January and February, the disease is active from November to May.
Vaccinate to Prevent Serious Illness
The influenza virus changes from year to year-requiring annual vaccination to protect against the different strains. The vaccination is available in two different forms, the traditional injection, which contains an inactivated (killed) virus, or as an attenuated (live and weakened) virus that is sprayed into the nostrils. Both routes provide full protection against influenza.
According to the Centers of Disease Control (CDC), this year’s vaccine will protect against the following viral illnesses only:
• A/H1N1
• A/H3N2
• Influenza B
Those at Risk
Influenza is a highly contagious illness causing approximately 200,000 hospital admissions, and about 36,000 deaths per year. Pneumonia, a serious respiratory complication, accounts for over 90% of flu-related deaths. Moreover, children under the age of five, who contract the disease, are at risk of developing febrile seizures, a serious neurological condition. Annual vaccination is recommended for those individuals at greatest risk of developing serious flu-related medical complications:
• infants (six months of age and over),
• pregnant women,
• the elderly,
• individuals with respiratory, cardiac, or kidney diseases,
• Individuals with compromised immunity,
• Health care and daycare providers, and
• Primary caregivers to those at high risk
Possible (Mild) Side Effects
Like any other medication, the influenza vaccination does have potential side effects. The most common side effects occur at the injection site, and include redness, pain and muscle soreness. Alternatively, some individuals experience systemic side effects that include red or itchy eyes, cough, fever, and body aches.
Treating Side Effects
Recommendations to help combat vaccination-related side effects include:
• Applying a cold and wet compress to the injection site,
• Increasing fluid intake,
• Taking acetaminophen or ibuprofen (as directed) to reduce pain and fever,
• Get plenty of (extra) rest
Many individuals feel a need to guard or protect the arm that received the vaccination. In fact, it is best to use the arm to help metabolize the medication and decrease the incidence of muscle ache and pain.
When to Contact your Doctor
Contact your doctor immediately should you experience any of the following symptoms:
• High fever
• Breathing difficulty or shortness of breath (call 911 if severe)
• Hoarseness or wheezing
• Rash or hives
• Dizziness
• Palpitations
Vaccine-Related (Serious) Complications
The influenza vaccine is prepared in chicken embryos, this type of vaccination is prohibitive to those with a chicken egg allergy. The Centers of Disease Control (CDC) has reported that, although rare, serious medical conditions have been associated with viral related vaccines, two of which are:
• Anaphylaxes or a life-threatening allergic reaction to the medicine.
• A serious neurological condition called Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS), characterized by fever, muscle weakness, and nerve damage.
Potential Impurities
Viral vaccines are manufactured with some impurities and may contain foreign proteins (DNA/RNA), other viral material, and of recent concern thiomersal, a mercury-containing preservative, found in multi-dose vials of the H1N1 flu vaccine. Advocates against vaccination argue that thiomersal can cause autism in young children. The amount of foreign DNA and RNA proteins contaminating these vaccines raise concerns that they may cause autoimmune-related conditions and cancer.
There are many who believe vaccinations in general are a bad idea. As the movement to decline vaccination increases so does many of those disease irradicated by vaccination. The debate to vaccinate (or not) is a heated one and ultimately each one of us must make an informed decision based on accurate information. Start by consulting your physician and visit the following websites for more information on the influenza vaccine:
http://www.flu.gov/
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/topics/flu/h1n1/Pages/Default.aspx
http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/
http://www.cdc.gov/H1N1flu/vaccination/statelocal/centralized_distribution_qa.htm
https://www.vaccineshoppe.com/image.cfm?doc_id=11046&image_type=msds_sheet
Influenza Facts
Influenza, commonly known as the flu, is a contagious viral infection spread predominately through coughing and sneezing. Common symptoms include high fever, chills, headache, muscle aches, sore throat, cough, and generalized fatigue.
Although it peaks in January and February, the disease is active from November to May.
Vaccinate to Prevent Serious Illness
The influenza virus changes from year to year-requiring annual vaccination to protect against the different strains. The vaccination is available in two different forms, the traditional injection, which contains an inactivated (killed) virus, or as an attenuated (live and weakened) virus that is sprayed into the nostrils. Both routes provide full protection against influenza.
According to the Centers of Disease Control (CDC), this year’s vaccine will protect against the following viral illnesses only:
• A/H1N1
• A/H3N2
• Influenza B
Those at Risk
Influenza is a highly contagious illness causing approximately 200,000 hospital admissions, and about 36,000 deaths per year. Pneumonia, a serious respiratory complication, accounts for over 90% of flu-related deaths. Moreover, children under the age of five, who contract the disease, are at risk of developing febrile seizures, a serious neurological condition. Annual vaccination is recommended for those individuals at greatest risk of developing serious flu-related medical complications:
• infants (six months of age and over),
• pregnant women,
• the elderly,
• individuals with respiratory, cardiac, or kidney diseases,
• Individuals with compromised immunity,
• Health care and daycare providers, and
• Primary caregivers to those at high risk
Possible (Mild) Side Effects
Like any other medication, the influenza vaccination does have potential side effects. The most common side effects occur at the injection site, and include redness, pain and muscle soreness. Alternatively, some individuals experience systemic side effects that include red or itchy eyes, cough, fever, and body aches.
Treating Side Effects
Recommendations to help combat vaccination-related side effects include:
• Applying a cold and wet compress to the injection site,
• Increasing fluid intake,
• Taking acetaminophen or ibuprofen (as directed) to reduce pain and fever,
• Get plenty of (extra) rest
Many individuals feel a need to guard or protect the arm that received the vaccination. In fact, it is best to use the arm to help metabolize the medication and decrease the incidence of muscle ache and pain.
When to Contact your Doctor
Contact your doctor immediately should you experience any of the following symptoms:
• High fever
• Breathing difficulty or shortness of breath (call 911 if severe)
• Hoarseness or wheezing
• Rash or hives
• Dizziness
• Palpitations
Vaccine-Related (Serious) Complications
The influenza vaccine is prepared in chicken embryos, this type of vaccination is prohibitive to those with a chicken egg allergy. The Centers of Disease Control (CDC) has reported that, although rare, serious medical conditions have been associated with viral related vaccines, two of which are:
• Anaphylaxes or a life-threatening allergic reaction to the medicine.
• A serious neurological condition called Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS), characterized by fever, muscle weakness, and nerve damage.
Potential Impurities
Viral vaccines are manufactured with some impurities and may contain foreign proteins (DNA/RNA), other viral material, and of recent concern thiomersal, a mercury-containing preservative, found in multi-dose vials of the H1N1 flu vaccine. Advocates against vaccination argue that thiomersal can cause autism in young children. The amount of foreign DNA and RNA proteins contaminating these vaccines raise concerns that they may cause autoimmune-related conditions and cancer.
There are many who believe vaccinations in general are a bad idea. As the movement to decline vaccination increases so does many of those disease irradicated by vaccination. The debate to vaccinate (or not) is a heated one and ultimately each one of us must make an informed decision based on accurate information. Start by consulting your physician and visit the following websites for more information on the influenza vaccine:
http://www.flu.gov/
http://www.niaid.nih.gov/topics/flu/h1n1/Pages/Default.aspx
http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/
http://www.cdc.gov/H1N1flu/vaccination/statelocal/centralized_distribution_qa.htm
https://www.vaccineshoppe.com/image.cfm?doc_id=11046&image_type=msds_sheet
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Family Visits
I don't have a large family. That being said, the family I do have is spread all over the country. Last month we took my father to California to see his brother and his niece. Earlier this month my niece came out to see her grandfather all the way from Connecticut.
My father wants so desperately to see his entire family before he dies. Yet I notice when he does have an opportunity to see a family member all he does is complain! My poor niece was bombarded with trivial nonsense that was triggered when my father saw her!
My father has so many complex and convoluted issues that even he can't keep up with his own feelings. Just the other day he said to me, "What is my eldest daughter's name? However, ask him what his beef is with his eldest daughter, and he can't spit it out fast enough! He remembers every dime he has given to people, and every fight or disagreement. But ask him if he enjoyed the movie, he saw last night and he'll ask, "what movie? We went to the movies last night?"
I love my family. I know dad loves them as well. Now if I can only get him to remember that the next time a family member visits.
My father wants so desperately to see his entire family before he dies. Yet I notice when he does have an opportunity to see a family member all he does is complain! My poor niece was bombarded with trivial nonsense that was triggered when my father saw her!
My father has so many complex and convoluted issues that even he can't keep up with his own feelings. Just the other day he said to me, "What is my eldest daughter's name? However, ask him what his beef is with his eldest daughter, and he can't spit it out fast enough! He remembers every dime he has given to people, and every fight or disagreement. But ask him if he enjoyed the movie, he saw last night and he'll ask, "what movie? We went to the movies last night?"
I love my family. I know dad loves them as well. Now if I can only get him to remember that the next time a family member visits.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
That's what you get when you have a 90-year-old move in with you!
Monday July 12, 2010
188 Days Since Accident
165 Days in Colorado
Where did all his energy come from?
Dad was up early today and when I came downstairs to make breakfast he sprang at me from his bedroom, slapped his hands together, and said, “So, what are the plans today?” I looked at him with one eye half-open and wondered who this man was standing in front of me and what did he do with my father. “Dad, remember that Joey and Jessica have (oral) surgery today to remove their wisdom teeth? We are not going to be doing anything for the next few days while I take care of them.”
Looking back I probably should have taken dad with me today. I really thought he would be bored and I did not want to have to worry about entertaining him when my children were going to need all of my attention. The kids and I left the house at 11:00am and did not get home until 4pm. It was a long day and the kids were starting to experience a lot of pain.
We walked into the house and my father greeted me at the door and said, “Where have you been all day? I was so worried; I have been locked up in this house like a prisoner.” “You just got home from a wonderful vacation and already you are complaining that you are in a prison?” I said. “I am going to get Grumpy for you to hold dad.” He laughed and walked over to the children and started making jokes but Jessica was in too much pain.
“Where is Larry?” I asked. “He has been outside mowing the lawn and fixing things, I wanted to help but he didn’t need me.” I have a lot of empathy for my dad, he wants to feel useful, but he is not handy. He only has one eye can barely see out of it. Larry works so hard and to be honest, when he has free time to work around the house, he does not want to spend time being slowed down by dad.
The fact is the next few days are going to be very busy for both Larry and I. Larry intentionally took an extra week of vacation from work to do some much need house maintenance. My time will be focused on carrying for the kids post surgical visits. I had no idea how the kids were going to handle having their wisdom teeth out.
Just then, I got this brilliant idea, I asked my father if he would fix a few articles of clothing for me. He was an excellent tailor in his day and unfortunately, he never shared that gift with any of his children. My sewing abilities included buttons and repairing small tears. I threaded several needles for dad and left him with a basket of repairs. I did not hear a beep out of him for about four hours! At the end of that time, he handed me a pile of repaired clothing! “You are amazing dad, thank you.” I said, while thinking to myself, what am I going to do to keep him busy for the next three days? Oh Larry….
Dad, a one-of-a-kind tailor!
188 Days Since Accident
165 Days in Colorado
Where did all his energy come from?
Dad was up early today and when I came downstairs to make breakfast he sprang at me from his bedroom, slapped his hands together, and said, “So, what are the plans today?” I looked at him with one eye half-open and wondered who this man was standing in front of me and what did he do with my father. “Dad, remember that Joey and Jessica have (oral) surgery today to remove their wisdom teeth? We are not going to be doing anything for the next few days while I take care of them.”
Looking back I probably should have taken dad with me today. I really thought he would be bored and I did not want to have to worry about entertaining him when my children were going to need all of my attention. The kids and I left the house at 11:00am and did not get home until 4pm. It was a long day and the kids were starting to experience a lot of pain.
We walked into the house and my father greeted me at the door and said, “Where have you been all day? I was so worried; I have been locked up in this house like a prisoner.” “You just got home from a wonderful vacation and already you are complaining that you are in a prison?” I said. “I am going to get Grumpy for you to hold dad.” He laughed and walked over to the children and started making jokes but Jessica was in too much pain.
“Where is Larry?” I asked. “He has been outside mowing the lawn and fixing things, I wanted to help but he didn’t need me.” I have a lot of empathy for my dad, he wants to feel useful, but he is not handy. He only has one eye can barely see out of it. Larry works so hard and to be honest, when he has free time to work around the house, he does not want to spend time being slowed down by dad.
The fact is the next few days are going to be very busy for both Larry and I. Larry intentionally took an extra week of vacation from work to do some much need house maintenance. My time will be focused on carrying for the kids post surgical visits. I had no idea how the kids were going to handle having their wisdom teeth out.
Just then, I got this brilliant idea, I asked my father if he would fix a few articles of clothing for me. He was an excellent tailor in his day and unfortunately, he never shared that gift with any of his children. My sewing abilities included buttons and repairing small tears. I threaded several needles for dad and left him with a basket of repairs. I did not hear a beep out of him for about four hours! At the end of that time, he handed me a pile of repaired clothing! “You are amazing dad, thank you.” I said, while thinking to myself, what am I going to do to keep him busy for the next three days? Oh Larry….
Dad, a one-of-a-kind tailor!Wednesday, July 21, 2010
California, here we come!
Saturday July 3, 2010
179 days since accident
155 days in Colorado
I did not sleep well last night and I never do the night before a trip. This morning however, I woke up with an energy I have not felt in a very long time. Things went very smoothly, the kids and dad got up and ate a quick breakfast. The car was packed last night so I just had to review my “morning of” list, give my plants a good watering, feed the dogs and Larry put them in the kennel (my ex husband watches the house and the dogs while we are away).
We found the off-site parking for the airport and there was the shuttle waiting for us! The first part of the trip today was going very well. By the time we got to security we still had a good two hours and it was a good thing too because the airport was very busy! Fortunately, with dad in a wheelchair we were brought to a special area that bypassed the traditional line through security. I could get used to this treatment!
Each child was given a responsibility before we left the house. Joey was first to go through security. He was in charge of the computers and other electronics. Jessica went next and was in charge of making sure that everyone took off their sneakers, jewelry, and emptied their pockets before entering security, and then she pulled things out of the trays, while Joey was putting the electronics and computers away. Alicia went last and was in charge of making sure that all our stuff made it through security. I went through the line first and made sure that all the toiletries and bags of medication were pulled out of the carry-on bag. I was planning to help Larry who was with dad, but before I could say anything security was padding down dad. They did not give Larry an opportunity to have dad walk through x-ray, which would have been so much easier! Now we were stuck waiting thirty minutes while they checked dad and the chair. All of that could have been circumvented if they let dad walk through x-ray and they checked the wheelchair!
Dad at DIA holding "Grumpy," while waiting for our flight to LAX July 3, 2010
Finally to the gate! Just as we were getting settled at the gate dad announced that he had to go to the bathroom. I was hoping he could wait until we got on the plane because his bathroom visits take anywhere from a couple of minutes to 25 minutes. We pre-boarded the plane and took the second row across with the kids sitting on the right side of the plane, while we took dad with us on the left side. The flight to Los Angeles was uneventful. We landed a little early, got our luggage right away, and then went to the rental place for our minivan. I could not ask for an easier day!
Across the street from the car, rental place was my favorite hamburger restaurant, In and Out; we ate an early lunch, and made it to the hotel by 1:30pm. Check-in was 4pm, but since I requested an early check-in, our room was ready for us. We had a small suite; dad took the sleeper sofa in the living room area. He had a nice huge television, and was close to the bathroom. In the bedroom were two queen-sized beds. The girls took the bed near the window, and we took the other bed near the door, and I requested a roll away bed for Joey.
Larry pulled out the bed for dad so he could rest and I unpacked our luggage and after a two-hour rest, we went out to check out the area, get a bite to eat, and pick up snacks, bottled water, and soda for the room. We had a refrigerator and microwave, which provided us the opportunity to make breakfast in the room every morning and have cold beverages and snacks for the evening. Feeding six people during vacation can be as costly as the airfare!
We were only twenty minutes from Newport Beach, but the parking situation was impossible. What made it even worse was the fact that we left dad’s wheelchair at the hotel, and the handicap placard from Larry’s car was still in his car back in Colorado! What rotten luck! Since dad was too tired to walk we had to forgo the beach for today. I was tired anyway and we still had to shop for groceries and find a place for dinner. Overall, it was a great first day.
179 days since accident
155 days in Colorado
I did not sleep well last night and I never do the night before a trip. This morning however, I woke up with an energy I have not felt in a very long time. Things went very smoothly, the kids and dad got up and ate a quick breakfast. The car was packed last night so I just had to review my “morning of” list, give my plants a good watering, feed the dogs and Larry put them in the kennel (my ex husband watches the house and the dogs while we are away).
We found the off-site parking for the airport and there was the shuttle waiting for us! The first part of the trip today was going very well. By the time we got to security we still had a good two hours and it was a good thing too because the airport was very busy! Fortunately, with dad in a wheelchair we were brought to a special area that bypassed the traditional line through security. I could get used to this treatment!
Each child was given a responsibility before we left the house. Joey was first to go through security. He was in charge of the computers and other electronics. Jessica went next and was in charge of making sure that everyone took off their sneakers, jewelry, and emptied their pockets before entering security, and then she pulled things out of the trays, while Joey was putting the electronics and computers away. Alicia went last and was in charge of making sure that all our stuff made it through security. I went through the line first and made sure that all the toiletries and bags of medication were pulled out of the carry-on bag. I was planning to help Larry who was with dad, but before I could say anything security was padding down dad. They did not give Larry an opportunity to have dad walk through x-ray, which would have been so much easier! Now we were stuck waiting thirty minutes while they checked dad and the chair. All of that could have been circumvented if they let dad walk through x-ray and they checked the wheelchair!
Dad at DIA holding "Grumpy," while waiting for our flight to LAX July 3, 2010Finally to the gate! Just as we were getting settled at the gate dad announced that he had to go to the bathroom. I was hoping he could wait until we got on the plane because his bathroom visits take anywhere from a couple of minutes to 25 minutes. We pre-boarded the plane and took the second row across with the kids sitting on the right side of the plane, while we took dad with us on the left side. The flight to Los Angeles was uneventful. We landed a little early, got our luggage right away, and then went to the rental place for our minivan. I could not ask for an easier day!
Across the street from the car, rental place was my favorite hamburger restaurant, In and Out; we ate an early lunch, and made it to the hotel by 1:30pm. Check-in was 4pm, but since I requested an early check-in, our room was ready for us. We had a small suite; dad took the sleeper sofa in the living room area. He had a nice huge television, and was close to the bathroom. In the bedroom were two queen-sized beds. The girls took the bed near the window, and we took the other bed near the door, and I requested a roll away bed for Joey.
Larry pulled out the bed for dad so he could rest and I unpacked our luggage and after a two-hour rest, we went out to check out the area, get a bite to eat, and pick up snacks, bottled water, and soda for the room. We had a refrigerator and microwave, which provided us the opportunity to make breakfast in the room every morning and have cold beverages and snacks for the evening. Feeding six people during vacation can be as costly as the airfare!
We were only twenty minutes from Newport Beach, but the parking situation was impossible. What made it even worse was the fact that we left dad’s wheelchair at the hotel, and the handicap placard from Larry’s car was still in his car back in Colorado! What rotten luck! Since dad was too tired to walk we had to forgo the beach for today. I was tired anyway and we still had to shop for groceries and find a place for dinner. Overall, it was a great first day.
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