Sunday June 27, 2010
173 days since accident
150 days in Colorado
The last week has been very hot, with the occasional afternoon rains, to cool things down. Unfortunately, the rain has done nothing to help with my MCTD flair-ups. Before my illness, I loved the summer because it meant fewer days with back pain (worst in the winter and early spring). However, the lupus-like condition doesn’t fair well in the heat, so I lose on both ends!
My father worries when I sleep a lot during the day, but sleep helps me feel better, and when I take a couple of naps I function better overall. I try not to tell my father too much about my health problems because I can see how much it scares him. However, the fact is, there are days when I just can’t get out of bed, period. I have learned a long time ago that it is best to listen to the signals from my body because when I ignore those signals, I always regret it later.
Besides, I have the greatest family in the world! I have been very fortunate to have two teenagers who just instinctively do whatever has to be done on the days that I am incapacitated. There have been more times, than not, when my husband comes home after working a long night shift, and rather than go to sleep, he would help me. I am a very fortunate woman and I never loss sight of this. Nevertheless, for dad, seeing me in pain can be difficult for him to handle. Ironic really, I am 50 years old, and on more prescription medication than dad is at almost 90!
So what do you do when the caregiver has more health problems than the elderly parent does? Nothing, as a family you must find ways to pull together and do your share to help. It doesn’t matter if my father was living with us or not. I still have my days when I can’t function as well as I would like too. Fortunately, I have figured out a system to circumvent the frequencies of my flair-ups. Still it is difficult for me, as a type-A personality I have always been able to multi-task and rarely ever put anything off for the next day.
I have had to discipline myself and accept the fact that it is ok not to finish everything in one day! I think this philosophy has also helped my father because he has many days when he is depressed because his mind is stronger than his body. My motto:
Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today
Has been replaced with:
There is always tomorrow…
Showing posts with label caring for the elderly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label caring for the elderly. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Dad and Bingo - A First Time!
Tuesday,May 4, 2010
119 days since accident
96 days in Colorado
My father loves to play cards and especially if money is involved. As a child I remember long hot summer days when dad would take us to the park for hours at a time, not to play with us, but to play cards with his friends from the
old country.
Watching him now, he seems so frail at times, not the card shark he used to be, my children, usually let grandpa win. It really warms our hearts when his face lights up as each time he pulls the chips towards his pile. I haven't been able to find a place for dad to play cards but I did find Bingo.
A local fast food restaurant provides a monthly bingo game for members of the Senior Center. I personally dislike the game, I find it to be quite boring. But I thought it would be good for dad - Anything that would help him use his brain is going to be an asset to him. Bingo really is a great therapy game for the elderly as it stimualates the senses, exercises fine motor coordination, and is a nice social activity.
Dad started our slowly, he had difficulty with coordinating both hearing and seeing the numbers on his board. But after about 15 minutes I noticed he was moving through the process and keeping up. As a matter of fact, he won the first game.
It really turned out to be a pleasant morning and a good activity for dad. I only wish they had it weekly instead of monthly. Trying to find activities for dad has been a challenge because of the infrequency of them all. I am looking forward to summer break because the kids will be home from school and can help me find things for him to do.
119 days since accident
96 days in Colorado
My father loves to play cards and especially if money is involved. As a child I remember long hot summer days when dad would take us to the park for hours at a time, not to play with us, but to play cards with his friends from the
old country.
Watching him now, he seems so frail at times, not the card shark he used to be, my children, usually let grandpa win. It really warms our hearts when his face lights up as each time he pulls the chips towards his pile. I haven't been able to find a place for dad to play cards but I did find Bingo.
A local fast food restaurant provides a monthly bingo game for members of the Senior Center. I personally dislike the game, I find it to be quite boring. But I thought it would be good for dad - Anything that would help him use his brain is going to be an asset to him. Bingo really is a great therapy game for the elderly as it stimualates the senses, exercises fine motor coordination, and is a nice social activity.
Dad started our slowly, he had difficulty with coordinating both hearing and seeing the numbers on his board. But after about 15 minutes I noticed he was moving through the process and keeping up. As a matter of fact, he won the first game.
It really turned out to be a pleasant morning and a good activity for dad. I only wish they had it weekly instead of monthly. Trying to find activities for dad has been a challenge because of the infrequency of them all. I am looking forward to summer break because the kids will be home from school and can help me find things for him to do.
Monday, June 14, 2010
If I Hear, "I Need Ex-Lax," One More Time!
Monday, June 14, 2010
160 days since accident
137 days in Colorado
Nurses have a responsibility to ask their patients' everyday, if they had a bowel movement. So it doesn't bother me to ask my dad the same question; and my father has no problem in describing with graphic detail the angst of his bowels!
"Why don't you give me Ex-Lax?" My father will yell to me from the bathroom! “I never had this problem in New York, it must be what you are feeding me,” he would say.
A visit to the gastroenterologist uncovered a perfectly functioning anal sphincter (muscle). “Your problem, Mr. Rosenberg, is that you are old, you need to drink lots of water, and increase your activity, walk thirty minutes a day.” The doctor would say. My father, always with a witty retort, responded, “Doctor, I may be old, but that doesn’t mean I have to be in pain all the time, why don’t you give me Ex-Lax?”
A perfectly logical response, really - I smile to myself as I watch the doctor turn away from dad to write something down on a piece of paper. He turns to me and hands me the name of a medication that can be purchased OTC (over-the-counter). I recognize the medication as a preparation given to individuals who need to clean themselves out before a colonoscopy. “This will help your dad,” he says.
Why do doctors do that? I mean, dad is sitting right there, he could have looked at dad and handed him the note. I ended up turning to dad, and telling him what the doctor should have told him directly, anyway. I know dad is difficult to understand. I am so used to his Eastern European accent that I don’t give it another thought. Still, as health care professionals, we need to speak directly to the patient, even if, an interpreter is in the room.
Dad may forget things that he used to have on the tip of his tongue, and he may ask the same question more than I would like, but he is still a person, and for a man almost 90 years old, he still has it going on upstairs.
So I remind my fellow caregivers to treat your aging family with respect and dignity and permit them as much independence as is safe to allow. And if you hear, "I need Ex-Lax," one more time, just smile and do like I do, and give them a piece of dark chocolate,if their health permits it.
160 days since accident
137 days in Colorado
Nurses have a responsibility to ask their patients' everyday, if they had a bowel movement. So it doesn't bother me to ask my dad the same question; and my father has no problem in describing with graphic detail the angst of his bowels!
"Why don't you give me Ex-Lax?" My father will yell to me from the bathroom! “I never had this problem in New York, it must be what you are feeding me,” he would say.
A visit to the gastroenterologist uncovered a perfectly functioning anal sphincter (muscle). “Your problem, Mr. Rosenberg, is that you are old, you need to drink lots of water, and increase your activity, walk thirty minutes a day.” The doctor would say. My father, always with a witty retort, responded, “Doctor, I may be old, but that doesn’t mean I have to be in pain all the time, why don’t you give me Ex-Lax?”
A perfectly logical response, really - I smile to myself as I watch the doctor turn away from dad to write something down on a piece of paper. He turns to me and hands me the name of a medication that can be purchased OTC (over-the-counter). I recognize the medication as a preparation given to individuals who need to clean themselves out before a colonoscopy. “This will help your dad,” he says.
Why do doctors do that? I mean, dad is sitting right there, he could have looked at dad and handed him the note. I ended up turning to dad, and telling him what the doctor should have told him directly, anyway. I know dad is difficult to understand. I am so used to his Eastern European accent that I don’t give it another thought. Still, as health care professionals, we need to speak directly to the patient, even if, an interpreter is in the room.
Dad may forget things that he used to have on the tip of his tongue, and he may ask the same question more than I would like, but he is still a person, and for a man almost 90 years old, he still has it going on upstairs.
So I remind my fellow caregivers to treat your aging family with respect and dignity and permit them as much independence as is safe to allow. And if you hear, "I need Ex-Lax," one more time, just smile and do like I do, and give them a piece of dark chocolate,if their health permits it.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Finding the Humor in Life
Friday May 28, 2010
143 days since accident
120 days in Colorado
Today the temperature hit 97.5 degrees! My father comes out of his bedroom wearing an undershirt, a long sleeve shirt over that, and then long pants with heavy knee-hi socks. I took one look at him, and like a mother sending her child back to her room to put something more appropriate on, I escorted him back to his closet to find something lighter to put on.
How should I put this? My father dresses as if he just got off the boat at Ellis Island back in 1949! When I was a child, I used to get so embarrassed when he would attend a school function. Remember the leisure suit of the 1970's? Well dad had one in lime green. He also wore bold striped pants with an equally loud (clash) shirt.
One of the first things I did when dad moved to Colorado was to take him clothing shopping. You should have seen him today! He had on a pair of dark green walking shorts a pleasant and smart looking green and blue print polo shirt and we finished it off with a pair of TEVA sandals (and no sox!)
My father looked like a younger man of 65 (remember he is nearing 90!). We drove the kids to the local family fun center for a day of laser tag, miniature golf, bumper cars, and the like and topped it off with ice-cream sundaes at Baskin & Robbins! All had a fun day!
After dinner, I figured dad would be exhausted, since he was up for the entire day. However, he wanted to watch a little television. Joey put on a movie for him and I went upstairs to finish some last minute paperwork. About fifteen minutes later, I hear dad calling my name. Joey, ran downstairs (he is faster than I am) to check on his grandfather.
A few minutes later Joey comes upstairs with a huge grin on his face. This conversation transpired between Joey(J) and his grandfather(GF):
J: Is everything ok, grandpa? Do you need something?
GF: There is a German picture on television!
J: Is that good or bad?
GF: I don't know.
J: (sitting on a chair watching the program for a few minutes) So what do you think grandpa?
GF: This is Ausweitz, where I was in the Holocaust. I thought your mother would like to come down and see this maybe we will see me there.
J: (confused for a moment and he then realized that his grandfather thinks that the movie is a documentary and that the people were real and not portrayed by actors). Grandpa, make sure you call mom or me, if you happen to see yourself or someone you remember from that time!
GF: Ok!
Oh the joys of being old and hmmm, confused?
143 days since accident
120 days in Colorado
Today the temperature hit 97.5 degrees! My father comes out of his bedroom wearing an undershirt, a long sleeve shirt over that, and then long pants with heavy knee-hi socks. I took one look at him, and like a mother sending her child back to her room to put something more appropriate on, I escorted him back to his closet to find something lighter to put on.
How should I put this? My father dresses as if he just got off the boat at Ellis Island back in 1949! When I was a child, I used to get so embarrassed when he would attend a school function. Remember the leisure suit of the 1970's? Well dad had one in lime green. He also wore bold striped pants with an equally loud (clash) shirt.
One of the first things I did when dad moved to Colorado was to take him clothing shopping. You should have seen him today! He had on a pair of dark green walking shorts a pleasant and smart looking green and blue print polo shirt and we finished it off with a pair of TEVA sandals (and no sox!)
My father looked like a younger man of 65 (remember he is nearing 90!). We drove the kids to the local family fun center for a day of laser tag, miniature golf, bumper cars, and the like and topped it off with ice-cream sundaes at Baskin & Robbins! All had a fun day!
After dinner, I figured dad would be exhausted, since he was up for the entire day. However, he wanted to watch a little television. Joey put on a movie for him and I went upstairs to finish some last minute paperwork. About fifteen minutes later, I hear dad calling my name. Joey, ran downstairs (he is faster than I am) to check on his grandfather.
A few minutes later Joey comes upstairs with a huge grin on his face. This conversation transpired between Joey(J) and his grandfather(GF):
J: Is everything ok, grandpa? Do you need something?
GF: There is a German picture on television!
J: Is that good or bad?
GF: I don't know.
J: (sitting on a chair watching the program for a few minutes) So what do you think grandpa?
GF: This is Ausweitz, where I was in the Holocaust. I thought your mother would like to come down and see this maybe we will see me there.
J: (confused for a moment and he then realized that his grandfather thinks that the movie is a documentary and that the people were real and not portrayed by actors). Grandpa, make sure you call mom or me, if you happen to see yourself or someone you remember from that time!
GF: Ok!
Oh the joys of being old and hmmm, confused?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Dentures Last Bite
Friday May 7 2010
122 days since accident
99 days in Colorado
It has been three months since dad received his dentures and I finally got up the nerve to request a refund. It was obvious to me that the dentist was not going to claim defeat, and my dad, although he constantly complained about the dentures while at home, would become indecisive while at the dentist office.
Upon arrival, the receptionist immediately took dad to one of the patient rooms. I was surprised because I thought they would just hand dad his refund check and send us on our way. Instead, the dentist came in and asked dad what he wanted to do about the dentures. Dad looked up at the dentist and said, “I don’t know what I want myself.” Not very good at concealing my emotions, I must have shot my dad a dirty look because he sat up in the chair and said, “It is my mouth, you stay out of it!”
Maybe I was wrong to get so upset, but I confronted both the dentist and dad. I told the dentist that he should have instructed dad weeks ago, that he would not do any further adjustments until dad agreed to wear the dentures, as instructed, for a full week. I then turned to dad and said he should not agree to wear the dentures when he knows that he won’t (wear them).
Dad looked at the dentist and said he would promise to wear the dentures for a full week and wanted to give it one more chance. In agreement, the dentist wanted dad for a couple of hours to try a different approach to reducing the movement and placement of the appliances. I really didn’t have two hours to sit in the waiting room and asked if I could leave dad while I ran a couple of errands and picked up the kids at school.
I received a telephone call about two hours later – evidentially, the dentist tightened the bottom partial too much and when he pushed it down onto dad’s two remaining teeth, it hit a nerve or something and my dad cried out in horrific pain. He closed his mouth and refused to allow the dentist to do anything further. The dentist actually wanted me to come back and convince dad to open his mouth; when I arrived my dad was waiting for me and told me he was done with this dentist and the dentures. I signed the release papers, gathered up dad and his belongings, and high-tailed it out of there!
My father was furious not at himself, but at me for not standing up to the dentist, and refused to speak to me for the rest of the day. Two days later, he announced that his bottom tooth was cracked and he wanted me to call the dentist to pull the tooth! I must have called three or four dentists and each one was more expensive than the last. Embarrassed, I had no choice but to call the original dentist, the receptionist was very kind and explained that they would not be able to do the extraction because the teeth in question are canines. Generally, canines are the last to fall out and in dad’s case; they were anchored well into the bone requiring surgery to remove. Fortunately, they had a referral of an oral surgeon and gave me dad’s x-rays, and I was able to make an appointment for next Friday.
122 days since accident
99 days in Colorado
It has been three months since dad received his dentures and I finally got up the nerve to request a refund. It was obvious to me that the dentist was not going to claim defeat, and my dad, although he constantly complained about the dentures while at home, would become indecisive while at the dentist office.
Upon arrival, the receptionist immediately took dad to one of the patient rooms. I was surprised because I thought they would just hand dad his refund check and send us on our way. Instead, the dentist came in and asked dad what he wanted to do about the dentures. Dad looked up at the dentist and said, “I don’t know what I want myself.” Not very good at concealing my emotions, I must have shot my dad a dirty look because he sat up in the chair and said, “It is my mouth, you stay out of it!”
Maybe I was wrong to get so upset, but I confronted both the dentist and dad. I told the dentist that he should have instructed dad weeks ago, that he would not do any further adjustments until dad agreed to wear the dentures, as instructed, for a full week. I then turned to dad and said he should not agree to wear the dentures when he knows that he won’t (wear them).
Dad looked at the dentist and said he would promise to wear the dentures for a full week and wanted to give it one more chance. In agreement, the dentist wanted dad for a couple of hours to try a different approach to reducing the movement and placement of the appliances. I really didn’t have two hours to sit in the waiting room and asked if I could leave dad while I ran a couple of errands and picked up the kids at school.
I received a telephone call about two hours later – evidentially, the dentist tightened the bottom partial too much and when he pushed it down onto dad’s two remaining teeth, it hit a nerve or something and my dad cried out in horrific pain. He closed his mouth and refused to allow the dentist to do anything further. The dentist actually wanted me to come back and convince dad to open his mouth; when I arrived my dad was waiting for me and told me he was done with this dentist and the dentures. I signed the release papers, gathered up dad and his belongings, and high-tailed it out of there!
My father was furious not at himself, but at me for not standing up to the dentist, and refused to speak to me for the rest of the day. Two days later, he announced that his bottom tooth was cracked and he wanted me to call the dentist to pull the tooth! I must have called three or four dentists and each one was more expensive than the last. Embarrassed, I had no choice but to call the original dentist, the receptionist was very kind and explained that they would not be able to do the extraction because the teeth in question are canines. Generally, canines are the last to fall out and in dad’s case; they were anchored well into the bone requiring surgery to remove. Fortunately, they had a referral of an oral surgeon and gave me dad’s x-rays, and I was able to make an appointment for next Friday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
