The Medicinal Benefits of Vodka (According to Dad)

Tuesday June 15, 2010
161 days since accident
138 days in Colorado

I want to make one thing clear - I don't think anyone should come to the conclusion that my father is an alcoholic(and that includes me as well). Dad has been living with me now for almost five months and I have never seen him take a drink during the day. Instead of taking sleeping pills or valium like many of his cohorts, dad has a glass of vodka before bed. He is plagued by guilt and horrible images of the holocaust and when he takes his night time drink it provides him an opportunity to have a peaceful night's sleep.

At dad's age, logic might dictate that he stop drinking, but logic goes out the window when you see how strong and youthful my father is right now. I can’t remember the last time dad was sick with a cold or the flu, for example. George Burns lived to be 100 and he drank and smoked cigars.

So, the reason I am writing this is to share some of my father's interesting philosophies on the medicinal benefits of alcohol. As a side note, when I was a home health nurse I came across many from dad's generation, who also believed that alcohol served other purposes besides its obvious. And now, for your reading enjoyment I give you:

The Medicinal Benefits of Vodka

1. To cure a cold in the chest or head: take warm water and pour in some vodka.
2. To cure a sore in the mouth or toothache: rinse your mouth with vodka and swallow.
3. For a sore throat: Take some warm water, pour in some vodka, gargle with it, and swallow. Never ever waste the vodka, it will kill all the germs you can swallow it is ok.
4. For a cut, pour a little vodka on it, this you can’t drink so don’t worry it is only a little bit wasted.
5. If you can’t sleep at night: Drink some vodka and you will sleep through the whole night.
6. If you are depressed or sad: don’t take those crazy pills for depression just drink a glass of vodka and it will make you happy and help you forget the past.