Dad's Second Day in Colorado - January 30, 2010

January 30, 2010
25 days after the accident
Second day in Colorado

I am scared - plain and simple. My father looks so weak, so frail, even his once powerful voice is barely audible. Did I make a mistake bringing him out here to live with me? Am I crazy? What possessed me to bring him out here so soon? Maybe I should have insisted that dad stay in the nursing home for a few more weeks. Would he have survived there, though? I have so many questions - and no good answers. All I know is that I made the commitment and now I must follow through. What am I so afraid of? I have taken care of the elderly and sick people before. I was a very good medical/surgical nurse so this should be a piece of cake. But this is no ordinary patient in one of the several hospitals that I work in - this is my 89-year-old father, who was hit by a car, and seriously injured just a little over three weeks ago.

I just have to find my center - this is new, the entire family feels disjointed. If I could get dad in a routine, I think it would help all of us adjust. Right now all dad wants to do is sleep. I can't let him do that. Too much bed rest could lead to a pneumonia or clots in his legs. He did enough laying around in the nursing home. Now he needs to start rebuilding his strength.

I have already started a little bit of a routine with him. He tends to wake up about 8:00ish and wants breakfast at 8:30am. After breakfast, I help him to the recliner that Larry moved by the big window. Here he can get some sun, watch the people go by, or read the paper. This works for about 45 minutes though and then he gets antsy. Unfortunately, that takes me to about 9:45am. If I don't distract him with something then he immediately will crawl back into bed and lay there all day long.

So I move him from the chair to the kitchen table and pull out a deck of cards. My father used to play cards all the time when I was a kid he would go the Brighton beach every weekend and play cards with his friends in the park or under the Boardwalk. Playing cards is good for him as it helps to exercise his brain. We play for about 45 minutes, which takes me to 10:30am.

He goes back to bed and I let him take a nap until lunch (about 12:30). After lunch if the weather permits, we go out and run a couple of errands or go to a doctor's appointment and then pick up the kids on the way home.
Then I give him a cup of tea and a couple of cookies while he visits with the kids. I notice that dad really perks up when the kids are home from school. Sometimes they play cards with him, other times they talk about the school day.

We eat dinner at 5:30pm, which usually goes for about an hour sometimes two hours. This is our time to unwind from the day, talk and discuss current events or issues that the kids have on their minds. My father enjoys the banter. After dinner, my husband Larry helps dad to bathe and get ready for bed. I utilize that time to straighten up dad's room and bed.

7:30pm dad is comfortable in bed, I will put a movie on for him - he loves the TCM channel. About an hour into the movie, I find him fast asleep. I turn off the T.V. and check on him before I retire to my bedroom upstairs.

For the last couple of nights I have been waking up like every couple of hours - I check on dad and then go back to sleep. I hope this doesn't become habitual because I really am going to need my sleep if I am going to pull this caretaker role off.